After looking back at this blog, I realized I have written a whopping two posts over the last year. Why has this happened? Life? Kids? Lack of inspiration? Lack of desire? It could be all or none of those. It doesn’t really matter. What matters is that I feel as though I have more clarity now on my desire for intentionality as a father.
You may or may not know, but Rachel and I have very recently made a move from Marion, Indiana to Estero, Florida. We arrived on January 6th and have been LOVING the winter weather in Southwest Florida! The short story on the move is that as I was making the transition to join GiANT Worldwide, we felt confirmed by God to make this move. Maybe down the road I’ll detail that journey.
I strongly believe that joining GiANT as a Senior Associate will have a major long-term impact on my marriage and my parenting. Let me share why.
The vision statement of GiANT Worldwide is “To raise up liberating leaders who will change leadership culture in every major sector and city in the world.” And the mission is to help people: BECOME leaders worth following, BUILD leaders worth following, and LEAD an organization everyone wants to work for.
One of the mantras we preach as Associates for GiANT is that you can’t give away what you don’t possess. We are desire to give away liberation. But how can I give it away if I’m constantly dominating and protecting my family. Let me share a few graphics to illustrate my point.
In the graphic below are the five circles of influence. Self. Family. Team. Organization. Community. But what does it really mean to influence/lead yourself? In the second graphic you’ll see the concept of “Know Yourself to Lead Yourself.” The better you can understand your own natural tendencies and habits, the better you can lead yourself to positive consequences. Only after I’m intentionally leading myself can I begin to intentionally lead my family.
As a husband and dad, my highest goal is to lead and liberate my family. But that leads to the question, what does it actually mean to liberate my family? The graphic below is called the support/challenge matrix. As a dad, I seem to naturally flow into two quadrants—either the protector or dominator. For example, with our 4-year old Adriah, I tend to be a protector and provide a lot of support but very little challenge. With our 8-year old Christian, I tend to always provide a lot of challenge but struggle with giving him the support he needs. I am in a constant battle to provide both the support and challenge that my kids need in order to be liberated and feel as though our household is place of empowerment and opportunity.
Every day is a struggle to live this intentionally. Every child is different, and every child needs support and challenge in different ways. My goal is that even though every day at different times I will probably operate in all four quadrants, that I can slowly over time get to the point where a majority of my time can be spent as a liberator in all of my circles of influence.
So may you as parents, fathers, mothers, husbands, wives, friends, teachers, influencers–go and provide the support and challenge that others need so you may be liberators in all of the circles of influence in your lives.
(***If you’d like to talk more about GiANT and how we help build cultures of liberation, please let me know. I’m always ready to help build leaders to become true influencers and conduits of liberation.)
Here are some updated pictures of the kids!!